When is being nice a bad thing?

My wife and I are in a small group. We meet weekly with people from our church to talk about Sunday’s sermon, the Bible passage, and pray together.

One of the real benefits is hearing other people’s insights and ideas.

Recently we were talking about how easy it is to over-commit. For a lot of people, when they get asked to help with a project, lend a hand, or do some sort of task, they immediately want to say Yes because they want to be kind.

I get that. Kindness is good, right?

But the problem isn’t being kind. It’s saying Yes to so many things that you find yourself in a position where you can’t follow through on your commitments. The result is a zillion obligations (that you end up resenting), and mental and physical exhaustion.

That’s why being a person of your word is also about knowing when to say No. 

Last week we looked at Matthew 5:37 where Jesus was talking about being honest and sincere with your words. He said: “All you need to say is simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.” We often focus on the ‘Yes’ part of that verse. But we need to take the ‘No’ part seriously too.

You need to know when to say No.

Saying Yes to too many things is being careless with the limited amount of time and energy God has given you. It also makes you someone who is more likely to break your word.

It’s not about being unkind. It’s about knowing your limit and living within it.

By Matthew Ruttan

-Bible quotes are from the New International Version

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