When you think about friendship, what comes to mind?

Similar interests, laughter, or support? Those are all good things. 

How about confessing your sins? If you think that sounds like a downer, I hear you. But when it comes to supporting one another, speaking openly and honestly about sin can be very helpful.

One psychology textbook says that people who don’t confess their sins to someone experience greater anxiety, depression, and bodily symptoms such as back pain and headaches!

Those are good benefits. But from a biblical perspective, speaking to trusted Christian friends has more to do with accountability and growth in holiness. When we keep things secret—especially secret sins—they tend to grow in size and start to exert more control over us.

In James 5:16, Jesus’ half-brother says: “confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.”

At first it might seem strange that he puts confession and healing together. But healing is about more than just the body. Theologian John Piper says that the Bible’s teaching on godly regret and repentance is that “it should lead to life and hope and freedom, not to lasting distress and bitterness and paralyzing self-hate.”*

That sounds a lot like healing to me.

What would you prefer? Lasting distress, bitterness and paralyzing self-hate, or life, hope and freedom? Me too.

If you have a trusted Christian friend, and if you are wrestling with certain unrelenting sins, be open and honest with them. Confess to God and pray together.

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Notes:

–*John Piper, Providence (Wheaton: Crossway, 2020), 425.

–Bible quotes are from the NIV.